*lyric from Elvis Costello’s “Alison”
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It could have been Hurricane Katrina, Brooklyn style, here at home this evening, as my partner Rob’s tears flowed like torrents and I sat pensively staring at the TV (Hey, I don’t cry. Unless I’m watching “The Color Purple”. Or “E.T.” Oh, screw it. I blubber with the best of them) knowing this was the probable conclusion. Through the gasps of breath and the swallowing of words, Rob stated, forlornly and bittersweetly, “Of all the nights! Rock week! She was rockiest of them all!!!” And who am I to disagree? Rather who would I be if I disagreed? Not the true fan of Allison that I am. No journey moved me more than this spitfire’s from Los Angeles. With no grassroots fundamentalist campaign or sad-sack back story, no dead relatives, and no Jesus complex, she relied solely on raw talent and an undeniable force of will, and proved – beyond a shadow of any doubt – that she stands as the greatest teen Idol of all 8 seasons.
Witnessing her exit performance of “Cry Baby” was like watching pre-Disney, post-bathhouse Bette Midler, a 17-year-old force-of-nature spelunking the nadir of her soul while tearing the mother-effin’ roof off the joint in a more scorching tour de force than any teen has the right to possess. They tried to pigeonhole her as a Rock goddess (I concur) but she proved just as agile with any genre they tossed in the ring, singing rings around just about any Top 36 contestant. Her ”likeability” always questioned, she was the only endearingly authentic persona on that stage. She was randomly ridiculed for her fashion sense, but what 16-going-on-17-year old is a seasoned fashionista? No, Allison was that clichéd “real deal”. I know there’re only two weeks left, but Idol will be missing more than a scintilla of joi de vivre without her.
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Some quick random thoughts~
It’s fitting that Chris Daughtry and his grunge-lite band were musical guests this week, as it was this fateful night three years ago where he succumbed to Ice Queen Katharine McPhee’s ascension and just missed a Top 3 hierarchy. I hope his uber-success is a foreshadowing for Allison’s fate. If ever an Idol Top 5 finisher deserves a relished career, it is she.
Speaking of Daughtry, perhaps he should have taken back “Renegade” from Kris and Danny rather than sing his sterile new single, “No Surprise”; with it’s prophetic title, the song sounds derivative of his debut, which, in reality was watered-down Nickelback who are, historically, a welfare Nirvana, who I’m sure Chris grew up on wanting to be. Full circle. No surprise.
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Oh, by the way Idol producers, here’s some news for you. Season 5′s third place finisher, Melinda Doolittle – remember her? The artist who should have walked away victor that year? – has a resplendent, brilliant new CD called “Coming Back To You” and it’s the ONLY Idol CD EVER released that is wholly listenable from first track to last. Was her invite lost in the mail? Did Kellie Pickler hijack it on her way to her plastic surgeon? I mean, what will it take to get this monumental talent on that Idol stage? Here’s a quick study for your consideration:
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While I was thrilled there wasn’t a Harajuku nymphet (or an Akon) in sight I must ask if we really need a No Doubt reunion in 2009? Didn’t we tire of their pseudo Ska-Meets-Mtv affect years ago? And just how does a female singer become a caricature of one’s self so quickly?
Well, we can ask Paula Abdul. Happy she’s finally free of her PAINKILLER ADDICTION (which explains her new-found clarity), for the first time in 8 seasons she gets to “perform” (lip-synced Tuesday evening) her new single “I’m Just Here For The Music”, and with it’s chintzy melody and primitive choreography, it’s obvious that Abdul wants us to party like it’s 19…uh…89.
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Once again, the sit down interview with the remaining four became the Danny Gokey show, as Idol allowed this vainglorious buffoon to renege his whole “I don’t think it was bad” spiel after Tuesday’s negative feedback by assuring his bible-thumping sheep that (har har) he gets the joke and (har har) even his family muted the TV (har har) and that when he listened back he laughed and laughed (har har).
So, with Allison’s dismissal, a Rock N’ Roll final is a mere pipe dream. Adam, Danny and Kris create Idol’s first ever all-male triumvirate. No theme was announced for next that I heard, but I missed the last 30 seconds or so of the show.
But as the old adage says, payback’s a bitch. I say Adam should sing “Dream On”. (Har har Gokey).
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Click on the pic of Jim’s Gokey possession for his latest “Idol in :60″:
D’oh! Jeffrey, you stole my “Your Aim Is True” headline that I was gonna send out to all my friends tomorrow morning. Great minds think alike.
Awesome analysis of the show, as always. This season may be lackluster, but your site is on fire! As idiot #1 says, “We got a hot one here tonight!” And as idiot #2 says, “The thing is…..” And as idiot #3 says, “I’m just here for the music.” And as idiot #4 says, “Allison, the fourth note in the eighth measure seemed a little off to me. Danny, you are an incredible, current, contemporary artist. Gold stars all around. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
It’s judges’ choice + own choice next week
Nothing else to say except: National Disgrace
Man, we were so close to the greatest top 3 ever. I knew it would never happen, but I let myself hope for just a moment. And then they let the Cat Rapist play the redemption card and I knew he was safe. C’est la vie. Part of me wants an Adam vs. Gokey final now just to watch him get his glasses stomped into a million tiny little pieces by a shiny sequined platformed shoe.
Ugh, what an awful, awful photo of Danny with Devil’s horns. I am sooooooooooo disappointed in you Rickey, your site this year has been cruel, and darn right dirty. Today is the last time I visit your site. I can’t believe how low and petty you have gotten to post such a photo of Danny with horns. I guess you feel threatened by Christians.
Secularists always knock Christians. Ti’s their religion. It’s a good thing God gave us a sense of humor. Chin up.
Justine, I love it! Besides being totally ticked off at the results, which we all knew in advance, I could not believe the arrogance at which he supposedly laughed at himself. (Wonder who wrote that for him?) Oh well, go Adam, anihilation time is almost here.
And Monday is Danny Gokey Day in some wonderfully delusional city in Wisconsin. Perhaps the mayor will present the key to the city to his AUNT?
I agree. Melinda Dootlittle is one of the best to come out of American Idol. I don’t know why they didn’t invite her back.
I think Allison shared the same fan base as Adam, and we Glamberts were determined not to split votes after last week. I wonder if we were manipulated by the producers? Was Adam REALLY bottom 2?
You know what I’d love to see next week? (Aside from Adam doing Dream On, just to show how it’s done.) I’d love to see Adam wail a Mahalia Jackson-type gospel anthem (Amazing Grace?), just to confuse the Gokey voters.
Hey, I’m a Christian, and I voted for Allison for an hour and a half and the other half hour for Kris and Adam to put the go in gokey. So don’t just lump us all into the sheep category, ok?
What a hugh disappointment..Allison sent home..she was better than Kris and Danny. I wish her luck!
Daughtry sounds like a copy of Nickleback..he sounds the same in all his songs..
With the exception of Kelly and Carrie , the runner- ups have been superior to the winners .
Taylor Hicks over Daughtry , Reuben Studdard over Clay Aiken , Taylor Hicks over Elliott Yamin?
I have to say that I think Elliott’s debut CD also had a CD where every track was a winner .
In the past there was not as much of a chance for some Top 3 or Top 4 contestants to remain household names – the incomparable Tamyra Grey comes to mind , but in the past few seasons most of the Top 8 have had some measure of success.
I think we can agree that Danny , Adam Kris and Alison and probably Matt and Anoop will have success.
Allison and Anoop are superior to Danny , who is so arrogant and is a one trick pony .
The real shame is that Top 36 Ricky Braddy was the most robbed of all – he was probably the best of all the males ( excluding my favorite Adam ).
The show is a sham but at least we get a taste of talent that we would never otherwise have been able to witness and these kids get a great chance at making a name for themselves in the music world.
way to go, DJ, I voted for Adam for 90 minutes and Allison for 30.
Hillarious photo! Even funnier because the sheeple don’t get the joke.
I thought Daughtry was off key when he sang “No Surprise”. It showed how weak his vocals compared to David Cook and Adam Lambert. But his songs are always commercial so I give him credit for that. Oh, and Katharine McPhee is no Ice Queen! Hello???!!! Somewhere Over the Rainbow. You should embrace it girl! And I love Allison!
I guess you neglected to put down that Allison herself had a failed recording career after winning the Latin American version of American Idol for teens.
And I believe Daughtry ALSO should have done Whole Lotta Love and showed Adam that screaming violently is not only a way to ruin your vocal chords for life, it’s also ironically what the judges reprimanded Carly and several other Idols for in the past. Led Zeppelin AND Guns and Roses had to drop all of their songs down 2 keys because of Axl and Robert Plant’s primal screams. And apparently no one has seen Aerosmith in concert where the “death rattle” at the end of Dream On now sounds like blood gurgling in the throat of a dying man.
I dont even know why they have the competition going. They should have crowned it Adam Idol 5 weeks ago, and let’s talk about how bitter just about everyone who’s come off the show this year because of it.
Oh cry me a river. Danny’s gonna be next to go anyway.
Your commentary = AWESOME. Very well-written and I totally agree w/ you.
Thank you for pointing out that Melinda was totally robbed. What a talent!
Just a correction. The great Melinda was from Season 6, not Season 5.
I love the Danny Gokey GIF. Serves right for people who believe in his so-called ¨good¨ heart and ¨amazing¨ talent. I read the twitter page of their pastor and the comments they posted were really scary to say the least. Gosh, I suppose they look at him as Messiah for Christian music.
Allison has a great voice. She may have not won the heart of America but she will do well in other countries. Again, I expect Allison, Kris and Adam to have good careers after Idol whether they win this or not because they are ¨now¨ and really talented. Allison SHOULDNT do Pink or No Doubt´s type of music but rather go with bluesy, soulful rock where her raspy voice will really shine. Adam should go with theatrical rock like Queen or even MCR type. Kris can stick to his folk roots but he needs to make his songs stand out because there are also a lot of good folk singers out there.
As for Danny, he will do well with Gospel music or standards for people ¨his age¨ (not in years) but dont expect a successful commercial international album for him. Honestly, I liked Taylor Hick´s album but it is not something I can play in a lot of places. Danny will surely sound ¨excruciating¨, again to say the least. I love karaoke but I am definitely not a Karaoke type of singer like him. That separates performers from wannabes.
Let Danny win and see what failure looks like from the pedestal where they want to put him.
I’m still reeling about Allison being eliminated. I guess chalk it up to the huge Christian and tween following Idol has. I hear churches across this country are organizing voting pools to try to get Danny and Kris into the final two. A shame.
It’s an abomination that Melinda Doolittle hasn’t performed on Idol yet this year. What the heck are the producers thinking for not giving her the stage???It baffles me.
Thanks for the update, Jeff. I missed the elimination show. Having said that, I am appalled. Now, I love music with screaming. One of my favorite songs is Ministry’s ‘Stigmata’. But Mr.Deadgirl’s howling remindedme of Howard Dean’s infamous wail. Not soul-rending, just stupid. And taking Allison out..now I know why my brother gave up on this stupid show.