Photo courtesy Rickey.org
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“Songs Of The Grand Ol Opry” might confound the casual or non-converted Country Music fan, but as someone who grew up in a more diverse household (my mom was raised on it and raised my siblings and I with constant strains wafting throughout household) it’s best to note that the theme does NOT mean it’s Country Music Week; in other words – no Faith Hill for the gals or Tim McGraw for the guys. Whew! The list of Opry members is vast, but not limitless, and there are even a few more mainstream (read: modern) names on the list (i.e. Garth Brooks and Mrs. Garth Brooks – that’ll be the amazing Trisha Yearwood, for the uninformed – Martina McBride, Reba McEntire and, ugh, yes, Carrie Underwood).
Here’s my first reaction when the theme week was revealed: What a delight it would be to witness these kids remotely try to delve deeper into the Opry roots than carefree, flippant takes on the usual. It might be risky, but the results may serve the aesthete well, rather than the superficial. Do I think that Gokey could ever emote 1/1,000,000th of a George Jones? Could soul-wannabe Giraud spelunk the country soul of one of Ray Charles’ seminal “Modern Sounds In Country & Western Music” tracks, or Megan Joy bring mandatory depth to Reba McIntire? Could scream queen Adam actually display a modicum of restraint to comprehend the vocal nuance of a Randy Travis? And, while no one of Allison’s or Alexis’ age should attempt the authenticity of Loretta Lynn, I’m content in the sadness that Anoop, well, can’t sing anything. Or can he?
But, I surmised, I expect too much from our Idols. The aforementioned singers are legends for reasons no Idol could ever innately understand.
Yet something funny happened on the way to this forum. Yep, folks, love or hate Country music, this is the second year in a row where it served the viewing audience well. Perhaps I prejudged too objectively – after all some of Season 7s Idols served their best dishes thanks to Opry Queen Dolly Parton’s archetypal catalogue (Michael Johns, the David’s, and Carly were the standouts). But all wasn’t perfect this week, nor is it ever. Despite some beautiful surprises (Kris Allen), there was typical bloat (Gokey), characteristic theatrics (Lambert) and meandering melancholia (MacIntyre).
Before I get to the Report Card, I want to say what a delight (well, for me) to see the great Randy Travis as this season’s first mentor, as seemingly lost as he appeared to be! He swept in on a wave of neo-traditionalism back in the early 80s with seminal albums any Country music fan should own (but for the novice, start with his new anthology “I Told You So: The Ultimate Hits”). On the results show, he duets with Carrie Underwood on his very own “I Told You So”. Sweet! Travis on TV is far too rare in these days of Kenny Chesney.
****
Michael Sarver
Song: Garth Brooks’ “Ain’t Goin’ Down Til The Sun Comes Up”
Grade: C+
Perhaps wearing a t-shirt that reads “110% Rock And Roll” doesn’t serve Sarver well, especially when he states he wants to instill the whirlwind Brooks number with some “Michael Sarver Flavor”. Yes, one can argue, Brooks, one of Country music’s great, natural singers, infuses much of his faster paced catalogue with a Rock N Roll punch, but as Idol’s Country-singer-by-fiat, I expected a little more salt with the grits Sarver served.
****
Allison Iraheta
Song: Paty Loveless’ “Blame It On My Heart”
Grade: B+
I had to laugh when the audience began to boo at Simon’s assertion that Allison was “precocious”. I could understand their confusion – I don’t think Cowell even understood that he was actually disbursing Iraheta a compliment. The definition of the word defines her perfectly (“unusually advanced or mature in development, esp. mental development”), albeit it in a musical sense. Her vocal strain is her métier and she breezed through the delightful Loveless tempo with power and prowess.
****
Kris Allen
Song: Garth Brooks’ “To Make You Feel My Love”
Grade: A-
When Allen lingered his final falsetto note, I turned to my partner Rob and said three words I never thought I would regarding Kris: “That was beautiful!” Sans the distracting guitar, and with minimal orchestration, Allen not only demonstrated maturity and integrity, but by focusing on Bob Dylan’s hopeful yet elegiac lyrics in lieu of bombastic mass appeal, he transcended mere teeny-bopper fodder as a possible force to be reckoned with. I said possible.
****
Lil Rounds
Song: Martina McBride’s “Independence Day”
Grade: B
Somewhere inside Lil Rounds there’s a great singer trying to claw her way out. Over-praised on a consistent basis, Rounds has yet to be as exceptional as SPaRK portends. So, her trying to tackle a McBride powder keg was erroneous at worst, tolerable at best. Martina McBride is one of the modern great female Country singers, a Country Whitney, if you will (although I never understood Houston’s appeal). Her songs are massive and one needs to possess the lung capacity to attack them full throttle, while simultaneously adhering to the soignée of nuance. Rounds lacks the former, and never displayed the latter. But I respect Rounds’ declaration that “R&B isn’t the only thing I can sing” and grateful she didn’t choose the obvious (Jackson’s hypocrisy was in full bloom again as he stated he wished she chose “I Will Always Love You” – a song the judges’ have always insinuated should be hands-off ).
****
Adam Lambert
Song: Johnny Cash’s “Ring Of Fire”
Grade: A-
Yep, I’m as perplexed as you are! Sure, this guy knows no restraint – week after week, every last note has to be rafter-wafting histrionics, and even ballads written to be subdued are grandiloquent – but, boy, is this androgyne Hot Topic Goth entertaining! It’s a weird dichotomy – I giggle in delight while recoiling in horror under the sofa. I won’t give him points for originality (the “Ring Of Fire” Middle Eastern flair was already done on Rock Star Supernova 3 years ago by the great Dilana), but if someone hands this man a tambourine, I just might yet succumb to his Zombie jamboree.
****
Scott MacIntyre
Song: Martina McBride’s “Wild Angels”
Grade: C+
In this kingdom of the blind, the one-eared deaf man is king.
****
Alexis Grace
Song: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene”
Grade: C+
Grace’s promise to “bring back the dirty” next week is more a forewarning – because I’m not sure why SPaRK continues to nullify this solid vocalist with a Christina Aguilera-cum-Dirrty manqué. That said, a little grime might have helped Alexis’ underwhelming take on the desperate, classic Parton plea. Her melodic liberties seemed distressed and unnecessary, and her falsetto bridge was a dreadful mistake. Hopefully, a temporary fall from, uhhh, grace.
****
Danny Gokey
Song: Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus, Take The Wheel”
Grade: D
Forgoing his dead wife for weeks on end is one thing, but he’ll be damned if he’ll squash his praise to his lord and savior too! No, not Taylor Hicks, silly! Jesus! The most muculent Idol since Chris Richardson, “worship leader” Gokey attacks Underwood’s ghastly monster as if channeling Ned Beatty in a musical version of ‘Deliverance’. If there is a modicum of facility within him, it’s overwhelmed by the reams of mucous membranes that disgorge from his pretentious lips. To reiterate my own critique of LaKisha’s season 6 performance, “Jesus, take the MIC!!!”
****
Anoop Desai
Song: Willie Nelson’s “Always On My Mind”
Grade: B
My first reaction to Anoop’s plea that Opry songs “wasn’t my forte” was, “Yeah, neither is singing!” Once a likable fellow, his recently reared pomposity and audacity proved an Idol menace. So, what a pleasant diversion to his usual muck and mire when he opted for a less than retarded vocal with “Always On My Mind”! Actually connecting to the fan base he let down, he embellished the melody with enough of that faux R&B tang that they love so much. It wasn’t nearly as good as SPaRK opined, but maybe the nightmares of the past 2 weeks permeated their memories, lest they forget. But, it was adequate enough to forgive.
****
Megan Joy
Song: Patsy Cline’s “Walking After Midnight”
Grade: B+
Sure, she’s a little bit affected – her voice isn’t a natural wonder, rather a manmade machination of hipster-chick vibe. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t buying into her claque. I mean, historically, my favorite female vocalists aren’t those one would surmise possess typically “pretty” voices (some of the great vocalists of all time have innately technical deficiencies that create the mystery). But her choice of Cline’s iconic and overdone song wasn’t the obvious selection I assumed it would be – it was sorta magical and demonic and totally original on its own.
****
Matt Giraud
Song: Carrie Underwood’s “So Small”
Grade: B+
Unlike Gokey’s massacre, Giraud did the implausible – he morphed an unlistenable Underwood song into a – dare I say it? – soulful (if somewhat heaving) piano ballad. Despite his gruff yet sweet tones, Giraud has the tendency to drift way off-balance, especially when he’s near climax, but instills enough restraint in his cadence to alleviate any real disaster. In other words, he’s the Anti-Gokey.
